Just Like Bilbo

I feel very out of sorts.  As Bilbo put it in The Fellowship of the Ring, "I feel...thin."  And that really is how I feel.  I didn't look up that quote just to use it.  I was thinking to myself how thin I felt, and I realized that statement sounded familiar, so I Googled it, and it turns out, that's what Bilbo says to Gandalf the night he leaves the Shire.  I guess it means I've seen The Lord of the Rings way too much when I start subconsciously using lines from it. And I'm not even turning eleventy-one. I do feel thin though, sort of insubstantial.  As though to simply not fall apart, or just to stay warm I have to curl up in the tiniest ball I can make so that what little life energy I have is tight and concentrated.  It somehow seems to be tied in with the apathy and despair that has been the theme of this semester. I think I need to go make myself a small cave or cubby or find a box to crawl into like the cats, just so that I feel safe and enclosed. It's a very odd feeling to have.  Even my hot pink fingernails seem to have lost their cheering ability.

Anyway, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm sorry I don't have a funny comic or story.  I don't have time to draw pictures right now in the middle of finals week.  So that's that.  Didn't mean to bring you down.  You can feel free to disregard this post.  I really shouldn't even post this, but I'm going to anyway.

Plus, my jaw hurts. 

I Have A Problem

I admit it.  I have a blogging problem.  It's not even so much with posting posts as it is with checking them.  I find myself compulsively coming back to my blog dashboard to see if anyone new has visited my site in the last 10 minutes.  Seriously, I check like every 10 minutes.  At least as many times as I check Facebook, and that's a lot.  "Have I had anymore pageviews? Has anyone from Norway looked at my blog?  Maybe I have a new comment!  Why don't I have new countries showing up?"  Although did get my first pageview from Canada today, so thanks Canadian Person!!  I don't even know if you meant to look at my blog or not, but Canada just turned green on my map so woohoo!  : D  And I do realize that it is ridiculous to blog about how I'm obsessed with my own blog.   But admitting it is the first step, right?

Gym Goers 3

Now I know you have all seen this guy.  "Meathead" is the classic Gym Goer.  You'll know it's him because he'll be right up next to the giant mirror.  He stands perpendicular to it so as to get the best view of his own biceps, even though cranking his head around like that can't be good for his weight lifting technique.  "Meathead" will be wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off....not just any cut-off shirt though.  Oh no, this shirt will have been cut as small as possible so that it's basically a thong shirt.  News flash, Meathead:  girls aren't turned on by your man-nipples.  Cover them up!  He also seems to forget that he has a lower body that needs exercise too, and instead focuses on doing bicep curls and bench presses with the heaviest weights possible.  This fact also causes him to use excessive grunting noises when lifting.  I don't know if he actually thinks this helps, or he's just trying to draw attention to his "manliness".  Either way, it's unnecessary. 

Gym Goers 2

I should be paying attention in class, but I'm not.  Instead, I am introducing you to "Old Man Who Is In Way Better Shape Than I Am".  You can usually find him on the smaller, less used track.  His shorts will be pulled up to his chest and he'll just be chugging along.  He'll still be there doing laps long after I've gone home to eat ice cream.  I'm always happy to see "Old Man Who Is In Way Better Shape Than I Am".  I mean, come on, he's a cute old man!  If you sat down next to him in a rocking chair he'd have awesome stories to tell you about when he was a young whipper-snapper and his days in the Corps.  Always be polite to him.  He's someone's grandpa.

Gym Goers 1

I'll be honest, and say that I don't go the gym as much as I should.  Occasionally, however, I'm able to drag my butt over and lift some weights or get on the treadmill.  It is on those occasions that I have the opportunity to people watch.  You can often spot several types of people there.  On a college campus it is common to find "Girl Who Puts On Makeup To Go To The Gym".  I guess she's trying to find herself a man, but if I were a dude, I don't think I would find smeared mascara and bangs plastered down with sweat that attractive.  Even still, you can recognize this person because she will be relentlessly trying to maintain her styled hair and painted visage while on Level 50 of the elliptical machine.

Befuddled

My brain is all addled and discombobulated tonight.  I'm having a terrible time trying to focus on the millions of toxins I need to know.  Not that it really matters because apparently everyone will either get an "A" or a "D" on the final.  I sure as heck won't make it into the "A" category.  And in case you don't know, a "D" is failing.  "Why?", you ask.  Because vet school sucks that's why.  They hate us and like to make things impossibly hard.  But I digress. 

The main focus of this post is that I am lost in my head and it feels like this:

And I look like this:

And all I can manage to draw is this:

And I can't figure out what will get me out of my funk.  A funk which has just been exacerbated by my wasting toxicology time making this pointless and less-helpful-than-I-thought-it-would-be post.  Why must life be confusing?

F-ing mycotoxins.   You get angry eyes.  >(

If Veterinarians Were People Doctors

Just the other day, I was struggling to take the temperature of an extraordinarily energetic and squirmy puppy. My froommate (friend and roommate) was helping me by distracting the puppy with a dog biscuit.  It was at this time that it occurred to me how much more fun it would be if I could go to a veterinarian for my health needs instead of a human doctor. 

First of all, things like gynecological visits and prostate exams would be much more tolerable if cookies were involved. 

Plus, vets are always very comforting and kind to their patients.  I would feel much more at ease if doctors used baby talk.

Even better yet, can you imagine getting a manicure and pedicure every time you saw your doctor?!  Not gonna lie, I think it would be pretty amazing.

But the best thing of all, would be the convenience!  Forget going to all those different specialists!  Having a small issue with your eye?  Has your spleen ruptured?  Perhaps you have stumbled in a rabbit hole and broken your wee little leg? A veterinarian can take care of everything at once!!

Of course, I suppose there would be a few differences that are less than desirable.  The waiting room, for example, would definitely take some getting used to.

And at times, vets seem to use a lot of force for their procedures.

But overall, I think you would agree, that seeing a veterinarian on a regular basis would be much preferred to seeing a "real" doctor. 

Just saying.