Sunday, December 12, 2010

Just Like Bilbo

I feel very out of sorts.  As Bilbo put it in The Fellowship of the Ring, "I feel...thin."  And that really is how I feel.  I didn't look up that quote just to use it.  I was thinking to myself how thin I felt, and I realized that statement sounded familiar, so I Googled it, and it turns out, that's what Bilbo says to Gandalf the night he leaves the Shire.  I guess it means I've seen The Lord of the Rings way too much when I start subconsciously using lines from it. And I'm not even turning eleventy-one. I do feel thin though, sort of insubstantial.  As though to simply not fall apart, or just to stay warm I have to curl up in the tiniest ball I can make so that what little life energy I have is tight and concentrated.  It somehow seems to be tied in with the apathy and despair that has been the theme of this semester. I think I need to go make myself a small cave or cubby or find a box to crawl into like the cats, just so that I feel safe and enclosed. It's a very odd feeling to have.  Even my hot pink fingernails seem to have lost their cheering ability.

Anyway, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm sorry I don't have a funny comic or story.  I don't have time to draw pictures right now in the middle of finals week.  So that's that.  Didn't mean to bring you down.  You can feel free to disregard this post.  I really shouldn't even post this, but I'm going to anyway.

Plus, my jaw hurts. 


  1. Here are some helpful suggestions:

    1.Eat chocolate/Drink Hot chocolate- Helps ward
    off dementors.

    2.Read something funny- Many excellent examples on my blog side bar.

    3.Start looking at Bridesmaid dresses!!!!!

    That's all I have for now!

  2. I adore that line from the Lord of the Rings! Especially cause it comes from the book. At least, I'm fairly certain...
    And the curl up to concentrate your energy metaphor? Genius. You're like one of those famous writers whose melancholy brings out the best in them.
    I support the hot chocolate suggestion.

  3. Have you heard Book of Adams recent post? Just remember, at least you aren't peeing in your boss's water bottle... ;)

  4. *read...not sure where heard came from...

  5. You could always go the Temple Grandin direction and build a box to squeeze you into calmness.

    ...I think I have plans for it somewhere.

  6. The time you spend on your blog is well spent and brings others joy, as well as yourself. I would like to suggest staying grounded spiritually by making time for prayer. Light a big, fat candle, even a little candle, in a dark room..pray, sing, just rock back and forth...and let the light warm you and remind you of God's light.

    It is easier to despair and be over-whelmed by the darkness and dark forces ( yes, some vet prof. and tests can count here) when you forget
    that you are part of a Light of Love and Peace that is eternally present and engulfs you, even when you are feeling then and insubstantial.

    Let's make prayer candles when the family gathers.